Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Randomize
