At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
to drive Frat boys away, one just needs to cat-call at them. It makes their masculinity weaker, and yours stronger.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
