a queef is a wish your heart makes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Man my junk looks like a mangled grapefruit right now, this shit sucks.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Did i tell you that he's legal and i got his number? Because he's legal and i got his number. THIS BITCH AIN'T GOING TO JAIL YET
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
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