I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Someone shattered a urinal.
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
