i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
Okay good. And who the fuck put a condom on my foot. That shit hurt
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
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