well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I was high fiving everyone. I even high fived with the wall for doing such a good job suporting the ceiling and keeping us alive.
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I almost had sex in a public restroom last night in case you're wondering how much of a mess 22 is for me
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
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