Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I fucking hate vegan toaster pastries. You don't fuck with poptarts. It's like baseball...it's the backbone of american sport and you don't change it. Poptarts are the backbone of american fatasses and you don't just go changing them.
I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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