Did you just throw up mid-sentence?
Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
3pm strippers are depressing
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
There is a moment when you wake up with a butt plug in when you question your choices in life.
There is also a moment when you wake up in a kiddie pool of jello cubes where you question what the fuck you did last night. Are you still in the attic or did you go home.
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
