Sry I called you an 8
i wish i could just chop off my fat with a knife..i would rather endure that than work out
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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