Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the plan is to continue having sex with all three of them until my birthday, and then once they've given me their presents, they can find out about each other.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
When we tried to make a video I set the camera to 3sec pictures accidentally so instead of a movie we have a flipbook of our sex.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
