she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
