Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
Not even the dog will look at me anymore.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
Randomize
