i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Before attempting to fly away into the night you asked me to take care of your sister. I agreed.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
Randomize
