ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
Little spoons don't ask big questions
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I want to meet new people and vomit on their things instead\n
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
We just don't discuss our relationships. It's pretty much like we're single no matter what to each other. And I'm okay with that. ¯\\(ツ)/¯
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
Randomize
