If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Going to Kmart high is like jumping in a time machine back to the 80s
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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