Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
I JUST ATE A STRANGE BURRITO, I SHOULD NOT BE EXPECTED TO KNOW ANYTHING RIGHT NOW.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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