Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Tonight just feels like one of those I'm going to lose a shoe nights.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
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