I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
You have to summon your inner elephant
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
