OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
So I just went to clothing optional bar
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
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