i now know how you feel when you have to walk me home. she ran into a streetlight and into garbage.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
We just ended up getting drunk and doing field sobriety tests on each for practice... No one remembers who passed.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
