You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
i may or may not be watching the land before time
I'm thinking of writing "I have herpes" on my stomach in sharpie that way I'm not tempted to show my tits tonight
I may have just googled Muppet Treasure Island drinking game
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
I would say I miss her friendship, then I remember that she gave 4 guys the clap. I'm good.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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