we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
She said she couldn't find my penis because my arm was in the way. That was my penis
Every man deserves at least one moment like that
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Pretty sure my boss knows there's Jack smell coming out of my pores right now... He just gave me a look...
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
Randomize
