I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
They got mad when I cut the pizza with an x-acto knife. Oh well, more for me then.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
Randomize