I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Literally everyone in the bar was absolutely hammered out of their minds. I swear I even saw the bartender swigging jd when he thought no one was looking. And there was me thinking Britain was the booziest nation in the world.
Welcome to America. You're gonna love it.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
