lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
And I'd make him talk dirty to me. In Forrest Gump's voice.
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
