Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I was supremely disappointed in the lack of dick and doughnuts in my life last week.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Randomize
