I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
I asked my mom, she said yes...but you have to shower with grandpa.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
He doesn't want a full on relationship, he provides me with all the weed I can handle and gives me multiple mind blowing orgasms. He's my soul mate.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize