If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize