I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
As I am reading this. I'm standing in my underwear eating taquitos. I'm saying this in the most loving way possible: FUCK OFF.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I literally can not watch Thor without thinking of your dick
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
