went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
I feel like death crawled up inside me and died. That sick
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Nothing says "Jesus has forgiven your sins" like finding out you're not pregnant on Easter.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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