remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
You remember the guy that busted in waving a tazer at everyone yelling "get the fuck outta my crib"?
yeah you don't forget that shit easily
We ended up crawling out from our hiding spot and playing pool with him once he calmed down. His name is Marcus. I got his email.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
