even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize
