I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
After Thursday my breakup "don't screw anybody out of respect" month will be over and I will be set loose. My pussy is purring with anticipation.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
