i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Terrible hangover + phoenix airport + pizza hut....I think I might have entered one of the levels of hell.
I say "glasses of whiskey" like I didn't chug it out of the bottle
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Randomize
