Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
It's only Tuesday and I just measured and checked to see if my 6'5 Friday booty call will fit in the back of my jeep comfortably.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
I'm too high and old for this...
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
Randomize
