how many princess gummy vitamins will it take to negate last nights drinking binge?
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
So what if I got a tattoo on a bus, it was sterile.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I woke up to him crying and pouring pixy stix in my mouth saying they would bring me back to life.
Randomize
