It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
And the funny thing is when I went to the kitchen this morning, all 4 pizzas were still there in their boxes, untouched. My question to you is: what were we eating last night?
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
She wanted to make popcorn, but the air-popper was broken. So she dumped the entire container of kernels into the clothes dryer. Drunk movie night was a success!
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Is it frowned upon to bring a flask to the er?
New guy at the liquor store was inexplicably fascinated by our huge jug of williams. First he said what are you gonna mix THAT with? and looked confused when I said air.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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