grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Randomize
