I tried karate at age 7 and quit after realizing it conflicted with watching new episodes of "Full House."
im having a threesome with these popsicles
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
