I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
When you start quoting save the last dance you need to stop drinking
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Randomize
