We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
