never play flip cup with pint glasses
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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