I'd rather watch my mom take a shit while reading the sunday new york times than watch mama mia .
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
accomplished twins. life is a go
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I told you you to bring something to share....you brought tequila and a condom
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Randomize
