i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
