I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
My whole family just stopped to look at me and aknowledge how fucked up I am.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
Randomize
