i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Randomize
