I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
You're a waste of cheezeits
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
Randomize
