I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
