Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
This is the third year in a row that Mario has fallen through a table on New Years. I'm sensing a tradition developing.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
She was blacked out on the couch MASTURBATING and whispering to her boyfriend...who wasn't there. I yelled her name and she didn't even pause.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize
