I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize