We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
..i think i can hear you losing your virginity
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
NO. ANAL IS NOT A GAME.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
Randomize
