I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
I'm pretty sure we organized our beer pong teams according to who's been circumsized...
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
