my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
I didn't know there was such thing as a bad orgasm. Until him.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
My Saturday dick is so much more impressive than my Tuesday dick.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
I may or may not of seen my high school physics teacher making out with my old high school boyfriend at the bar last night
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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