you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
just bought a 30 and sold it for $2 a can to some dumb ass high school kids. now lets buy two and get really drunk
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
The strip club called, they have your shoe.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Turns out the guy I did all that coke with the other night is a cop
We're dating now
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