This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
Randomize
