I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
we're so committed to being not committed
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
