What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
Apologies for hacking your facebook and posting that picture of you passed out hooked up to the IV...but we were sat with you on the ER floor for 3 hours, it got boring
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
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