I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
The first aid guy just told us to go get hammered...I'm taking his advice
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
