Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
You mean the girl who was passed out face down on the bathroom floor until 10 AM? You're right, she was cute.
I know she was blacked out, but she looked directly at the toilet and said "we meet again"
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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