I woke up naked by my window. blinds open. smiley face drawn on my window.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
Everything about him screamed your future.
dont try to nair your balls. i speak from experience
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
It's pitch dark except for the glow sticks, someone turned the heat up as high as it would go and the bathroom is flooded. Also think I just stepped on someone's face.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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