I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Randomize