theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
You know that tattoo place next to Dallas? The naked sexy frog on my neck is proof that their "won't tattoo if drunk" sign is bullshit!
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