i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Consider it an appointment to improve my blow job capabilities.
Don't ever give your dog some hamburger at midnight. Its impossible to enjoy a late night burger when your dog just threw it up all over your carpet. Gremlin rules work with dogs.
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Randomize
