Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Did I, at any point last night, say I was dying?
Definitely woke up.this morning to a random girls head in my toilet and her mom knocking on my door.
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize
