Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
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