I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Microwave minutes are longer than normal minutes.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
ALSO, I NEED TO BORROW A CAT. ASAP
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
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