I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
Randomize
