What a fucking waste of an outfit
hahhahahha. mid doggie-style, i faked an asthma attack. the sex was that bad
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Is it bad that on the course evaluation it said "do you normally try harder than other students in class" and i circled "absolutely false"?
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Got hit on at a funeral service by cougar. I think I just got Reverse Will Ferrell'd.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
It's like the dark age of my sex life being stuck here
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Randomize
