so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize