Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
